Anyone who knows me has heard me, some time in the last six weeks, mention this Cardi B quote from 2020 because it has been stuck in my head. “They want you to be Mother Teresa!” A perfect response to reporters the likes of which has not been seen since Jesus neatly eluded the philosophical traps of the Pharisees. They DO want you to be Mother Teresa!
As a kid I was given the examples of saints to follow and try to emulate. The women were perfectly sweet, docile, perfectly fasting, dying perfectly (somehow always) at the age of 24. Like Dobby the house elf banging his head into an armoire, I scolded myself as a young adult. Why can I never be more like these female saints? Less loud, less annoying, less petty, less acting like the court jester. I wanted to walk with a halo around my head. Then again, they always said “the saint that God wants you to be is the version of yourself that is the most authentic.” But there’s no Saint Princess Dianas, no hot mess expresses to look up to. You only get Mother Teresa as an example. It’s the Laura Dern monologue in Marriage Story.
Thankfully, I made it to 25. I mentioned in my “welcome” Substack post that part of my goal on this platform was to work on my own confidence levels in all areas of my life. And the difference in myself I have seen in a month or two of writing is dramatic. I think after mustering up enough confidence to press publish on those first few posts, all I needed was a little positive reinforcement from people who don’t know me at all to understand that the authentic version of myself is, actually, pretty good. They’re right: you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.
Everyone is calling it a brat summer. Embrace complexity. We can all be “I think about it all the time” and “365” played back to back.
Cry at work if you have to and leave a little mascara under your lower lashes. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone!
Did you know that the last two white rhinos in existence (both female, sorry to be the one to break this to you) live in their native Kenya, guarded round the clock by armed guards, but are “owned” by the Czech Republic? Meanwhile giant pandas seem to be traded as political collateral and solely owned by China. This raises the question in my mind, who gets to own the animals? This was a real conversation I had at a work dinner, rather than be bored. You know lots of interesting things! Chances are, people around you will be interested in them too. It’s not embarrassing to be interested in the world.
Tell the people you love when something they’re doing is bothering you. It’s not nagging or being dramatic or controlling. If they get defensive, that’s for them to sort through.
Do NOT replay social interactions in your head. We are not doing that this summer! If the person on the other end of the interaction isn’t going to, why should you.
My college PI1 would laugh at me that I either had zero opinions or extremely strong ones. It’s really fun to have strong opinions about things that don’t matter, and it’s also good practice to have them about things that do. Be a person of conviction even if that means changing your mind later.
Include everyone at the table in the conversation. You do have the social skills to make everyone feel comfortable because you’re a good person.
Maybe these are affirmations for myself alone that will live in this post, but I doubt it. I will continue to be petty, to try and be the court jester, and will probably end up being annoying in the process. Someone has to set the example!
Principal Investigator, or basically your thesis advisor