If you think about it, the requirements of mens vs. womens underwear are drastically different. Boxers can *eventually* become ratty, but aside from a thick elastic waistband that deteriorates after years of washes, men’s underwear can pretty much be worn until it’s no longer underwear. What is it but a holding container? A very specific pair of shorts? Maybe they have some sort of antimicrobial metal in them to reduce smell, but that is really as far as boxer technology goes. Underwear marketed to women though… it’s expensive, you need all different types, and it needs to be replaced on (speaking for myself here) an annual to semiannual basis. Even the most fastidious period tracker cannot always save their underwear. Even the most delicate cold cycles, separated laundry bags, and air drying cannot make your favorite bra last forever. This year I have started having ovulation spotting, an extraneous little bleed in the middle of the month. Thankfully my period is regular enough that Clue can predict when I’m ovulating within ± 1 day, but I’m usually not thinking about it at that time of the month — it’s hard enough to stay on top of laundry enough to have enough black underwear on either side of my period. In college, I bought all my underwear at Aerie (7/$35) because it was what I could afford and I knew it would be thrown away in over/under 18 months. Thinking about sustainability and ethical practices when it comes to underwear? Close to impossible, why would you even suggest it. The only sustainability I am practicing here is holding onto underwear much longer than is realistic out of desperation. My bra drawer is a graveyard of bralettes with aluminum deodorant stains and stretched out straps, with bands that hike up my back and hold my boobs like the head cloths in one of those old-timey images of people with toothaches. But I live in fear that if I get rid of them, I will never find something that will replace them, or at least, the memory of what they once were. Maybe it’s the materials scientists I’m disappointed in, unable to formulate an elastic that doesn’t degrade over time with the natural heat of the body. If I could buy a bra with the guarantee or even the promise, like a boxer, that I would never have to replace it until it was holey like a shipwrecked sail, I would spend SO. MUCH. MONEY.
That is nothing to say of cuteness of underwear. “Male Gaze much? The point of my underwear is to be COMFORTABLE for me to wear all day, not for showing off. Someone that loves me will love my body regardless of how it’s clothed.” I hear that and I fully agree. Maybe what I am asking for is impossible, but it just seems that in the year 2024 there should not have to be a decision between the two. Period underwear gets a pass: it’s a win for accessibility that I’m grateful of regardless of what it looks like. Aesthetic choices are in the eye of the beholder, and it may be more or less important to someone to feel cute, confident, or beautiful in their underwear, but I certainly don’t think it harms anything! I am not the sole arbiter of what is cute or what makes someone feel cute, but when I juxtapose some whimsical lingerie sewing patterns from the 20th century with underwear from today, I find myself feeling disappointed at the options available to me.
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Are any of these vintage patterns size inclusive? (From an era where many woman were on stimulants?…) Are they practical for people with large cup:band ratios? Depends. But do bras today even fit those criteria? Eh…
At least if you were making your own lingerie in the 20th century, you could make it to match (I think brands are becoming self-aware and realize that matching sets go a long way towards cuteness, five years ago you could not go into Aerie and find a damn thing that matched) and you could tweak a pattern to fit your body specifically. Sewing your own clothes was more common, not that it was something everyone enjoyed, but that made fabric and notions more accessible in stores. And you may have been unpaid sitting at your Singer sewing machine making your own underwear, but at least there were no questions about ethical practices. Frustrated by the underwear options available to me and choosing to sew out of pleasure and not necessity, I have looked into making my own underwear and bras. It is daunting to say the least. Given the size of undergarments, not much fabric is required, so I would only need a yard or so of jersey knit, modal (my favorite), or even silk if I wanted to go crazy. Matching elastic, bra clasps, rings and sliders for bra straps, and lace are harder to match, particularly since these types of notions are not going to be available at an easily-accessible store like Joann’s to color match in person. The fabric itself is not expensive, but once you add up the cost and shipping of all of the other pieces, it becomes less and less worth the effort (especially for me, someone that is afraid of working with stretchy fabric and elastic).1
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In the 2010s white feminism era, a million brands rushed in to close the gap left by the push-up bras (I was convinced via advertising that they were the only appropriate choice of bra for any self-respecting adult woman before I even had boobs). How many online lingerie brands have popped up in the last 10 years? Skims, Negative Underwear, ThirdLove, Savage x Fenty, AdoreMe, NuudiSystem, Lively, Aerie, CUUP, Parade, Pepper. (I will know the robots have taken over when I stop getting ads for Pepper bras as a 32D… until then, I know I’m safe). Everyone wants to be the antithesis of Victoria’s Secret now, even Victoria’s Secret. There exists the illusion that we have ENDLESS options, and it’s up to YOU girl!! Want something froufrou? Look to For Love and Lemons, not that you could wear 3D floral lace under your clothes and be comfortable. Want something more minimal? Skims has “Fits Everyone” bralettes, but don’t even try if you’re working with more than a B cup. Want something less expensive that still matches? Parade has high product turnover and influencer discount codes, but you can’t wear those powermesh panties for long without risking a yeast infection. Something actually made of real silk then? Araks bras and bralettes are my dream, but they will run you anywhere from $90-160, which is a high price to pay, especially if I want matching underwear that I will probably just stretch out and bleed on anyway.
I only have a semester of high school economics under my belt, but I know that it isn’t financially sustainable for these companies to actually make bras and underwear that work for different body types, provide support, breathability, and comfort where they need to, last a long time, and meet the ethics, sustainability, and aesthetic standards that we hold our other clothes to. They pick, mmm, maybe two of the above, and then we the consumer are left to compromise on what’s most important to us, making underwear shopping the farthest thing from the empowering experience these brands advertise it to be. I’ve written about this before, but taking into account the flagrant double standard/“pink tax”, I still don’t think it is wrong for me to want to feel cute and confident especially when it comes to something vulnerable and sensitive as how I look when I’m almost naked. There are only so many things in this world we have control over or can put energy towards, and we all have to strike the balance wherever we can and be generous with ourselves. We are not superficial for wanting more.
I’ve raised a lot of problems and no solutions. My go to bra is the Negative “Whipped” non-wire bra, which I have bought four of in case they ever discontinue them, and CUUP bikini underwear. Both are made of modal, and I think they are the best balance (that I have found) in terms of comfort, size inclusivity, and aesthetics. They are definitely on the pricier side given the inherent need to replace underwear that I’ve discussed above, but the construction and materials used for both are pretty robust and I think they will last for a while, which is kind of the best I can do.2 I was at one point very, very interested in trying Juem, which is actually a maternity brand. Since it is coming from Australia, however, I didn’t feel comfortable ordering a bra that does not have cup sizes and an unforgiving return policy (not their fault, my fault for living far away). Maybe one day I will gather the courage because *in theory* their fabric is meant to stretch as your body does during pregnancy, which might work for larger cup sizes.
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Anyways — what do you look for when lingerie shopping? What matters most? What do you compromise on first? Have you found any holy grails we should know about? Is shopping for a bra more or less annoying than say, shopping for jeans or swimsuits? I would love to hear about it.
This is pretty much the case regardless of what you’re sewing these days, unless you are thrifting fabric or upcycling.